MadMup.com

Well, that was fun. I had an aisle seat, but he never even came down our aisle. My plans to turn guest starring on radio shows into a career is off to a rocky start.

It's really very interesting to go to something like this and watch behind the scenes stuff. They were broadcasting live, so they had to be right on time with everything - musical cues, guest segments, the whole thing. I started to get bored after the first hour, but I think that's my own fault. An hour seemed like just the right amount of time - after that, it was same ol', same ol'. Still good, but I needed more.

I started rebelling after the first hour, too. They had an actual "Applause" light, and we even practiced before the show started. I played along at first, excited to be a part of something bigger than myself. As the show went on, I realized that they were using our sign-generated applause as filler - covering the host's movement about the stage, filling in until the guest got out on stage, that kind of thing. So I started only clapping when I felt so moved. That was much more rewarding, anyway. I tend to appreciate things no one else does and not appreciate things that everyone else does, so this worked out better for me. If you listened to the show, it's likely you heard a "misplaced" laugh or two - that was me.

Maybe that's the career I need to head towards... 0 comments

I'm going to a taping of a public radio show later today. It's called "Whad'Ya Know?" and it's based out of Madison, WI. When I lived in Wisconsin, I listened to the show regularly and always wanted to go to a taping. Weird that I had to move to Purdue University country to go to a taping...


Here's the website. The show's been on a for a while, and though there aren't any really famous babepeoples on it, it really was a fun thing when I listened to it. The host goes out into the audience and talks to people, and there's a quiz that earns people stuff from local businesses. I asked for an aisle seat, so...

Wishful thinking, but I used to call in to try to get on the quiz.

So go to the website and see when it's on in your neck of the woods. Maybe this'll be my big break and you can say "I used to read him when..."

Or maybe I'll oversleep and miss the whole thing... 0 comments

Today's a special day for someone you know. It might be a nephew, a friend, a teacher, a barber - but someone you know is celebrating something today. It might be privately, or it might be in big bold letters on a crazy hat they're wearing, but they're celebrating.

Give them a hug and let them know you're glad you can be with them on their special day. 0 comments

"Aim at the sun - you may not hit it, but you'll hit something higher than if you aim at ground level."

You've heard quotes like this before. They are supposed to inspire us on to greater things.

I'll be the first to admit I'm severely lacking in the setting goals department, but I have a real problem with quotes like this. Let's examine it, shall we?

First, "aim at the sun." Never mind the actual scientific evidence that says you should not look directly at the sun. It will damage your eyes. No question. You can't aim at something without looking at it.

Second, "you may not hit it." Um, you won't. Guaranteed. Use a bow and arrow, a pistol, a rifle, or an ICBM - you aren't going to hit the sun. Ain't gonna happen.

Third, depending on what time of day it is, aiming at the sun can have different effects. Aim at the sun at sunrise and it's basically the same as aiming at something at ground level, which the quote specifically implies is a negative thing. Aim at the sun at noon on a summer day and you're going to have a whole 'nother set of problems pretty quick. I always picture a bow and arrow when people talk about aiming. I don't know why, I just do. Have you ever shot an arrow straight up in the air? Even a target-tipped arrow becomes deadly on the return trip. Aim at the sun at noon on a summer day and you're asking for an arrow through your head or through the engine block on your '91 Cavalier. Not pretty either way.

Those are the analogy problems I see. If you're going to use a picture to inspire people, the picture ought to fit the situation. Sure, I understand the sentiment: your arrow will describe a parabola on its trip, and a higher starting angle means a higher ending place, generally, and yadda yadda yadda.

Here's the biggest problem I have with the quote: it's suggesting that it's good practice to set unattainable goals. Keep this in mind: you will not hit the sun. Ever. If you set goals that you will not hit ever, how depressing is that? Yes, goals should be set higher than our current level. That's what makes them goals. If I'm sitting on one end of the couch and I make the other end of the couch my goal, well, that doesn't really fit. But how about something in-between the other end of the couch and the sun? What about that bird sitting on the telephone wire? How about the weathervane on top of the barn? What about the broad side of the barn itself? (Some folks need to start somewhere...)

I've had it as my goal to update my site on a regular basis. I didn't specifically sit down and say "6 times a week" or anything, I just said "regularly." That's an example of a bad goal. Goals ought to be measurable. I should set down a number. But setting the goal at "I will update every hour on the hour" is just as bad a goal, I think. I'll need to sleep at some point, and work needs to be done. It's just not feasible.

Many times people equate "realistic" with "pessimistic." The glass can be half-empty, half-full, or at 50% of its capacity. I object to lessons that are limited to two choices when more are available. At what point does "you can do it if you try" meet up with "know your limitations"? I can update more often if I tried, but I know I can't update every hour. Nor would you want me to.

Set attainable goals, is all I'm saying. Yes, set them higher than where you are currently, but make them something you can attain with work.

And if you're going to aim at the sun, then, please, for me, wear some really good shades. 0 comments

You know the type, right? You say "I just bought a 2.5 Ghz computer with an 80 Gb hard drive" and his immediate response is "Yeah, I bought a 3.1 Ghz computer last week that has dual 120 Gb hard drives in it." These people can be found in all areas of life, not just computer-related stuff.

Well, the guys over at Penny Arcade (Disclaimer: they frequently use bad language, so I don't recommend it) have come up with a phrase that describes this sort of person perfectly. Here's the paragraph:

You have probably been to LAN parties where - when relating some marvelous thing you had done - there is always somebody who has to say they did what you did, only way better and it was super cool. That person suffers from TCC, the condition known as Two Clown Complex. It is derived thusly: imagine that you will have a clown at your birthday party. Should this joyous event be overheard by a person in the throes of TCC, they must declare that they will have not one but two clowns, in addition to a bouncy castle.

Two Clown Complex. My new favorite way to refer to a one-upper.

Labels: it's been said

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Today was a day of outages.

First, my site went down. Did you notice? It was down for a long time. Apparently the company that hosts it had a server being used to send DDoS attacks, so they had to rebuild it and all the sites it hosted from scratch. It's safe to assume there will be some hiccups along the way here.

Then, when I got home from work, the power went out. It's funny how quiet your house gets when the power goes out. You never realize how much ambient noise is produced by the fridge, the lights, and everything else. Kinda spooky.

As you can tell, everything seems to be back up now. 0 comments

I have had a slow shower drain for a while now, and it finally pushed me too far. I got some of that Drano Max Gel that you see advertised. "It's thicker than water, so it sinks right to the problem!" or some such nonsense. "More control in pouring!" is also touted as a special feature.

Turns out, regardless of whether all that is true, it really does the trick. The drain is as fast as ever now. It was well worth the $3.17 I spent on it, and I wish I had purchased and used it sooner.

Here's the trick, though: have at least a little trickle of water going in at the same time. I tried just pouring the gel into the drain, but it plopped over the drain cover and then slowly sort of bubbled into the drain, like some demented space blob returning to its home. Running some water over it seemed to help, so I let a stream run while I poured the rest and that seemed to facilitate matters.

It's got me thinking though. What if all other advertisements are true? This could have life-changing ramifications! I really can have a Whopper my way? I really can buy a car with no money down? I really can have a secure home network? Folks, I don't have to tell you - I'm a little bowled-over by all of this. Bear with me as I regain my footing, won't you? 0 comments

Here's a link to the MSN article, but I recreate the list here:

1. It is illegal to transport a skunk across state lines. - Tennessee

You know, because why would you want to anyway?

2. It is illegal to taunt someone for refusing to participate in a duel. - West Virginia

Bawk, bawk! Little chicken doesn't want to die!

3. There is a one-dollar fine for every instance of public drunkenness and/or swearing. - West Virginia

What about for public stupidity or ugliness?

4. It is illegal to require someone to purchase a horror comic book. - California

Does Archie count?

5. It is required by law that you make a loud noise when passing a car on the left. - Rhode Island

Hey, buddy! I'm passing you on the left! Because you're too dang slow! Jerk!

6. It is illegal for a bingo game to last longer than five hours, unless the bingo is being played at a fair. - North Carolina

Well, where else you gonna play bingo, huh? A church?!?

7. A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her. - Mississippi

Is it just the "I'll marry you" lie, or just lies in general?

8. One must not collect seaweed. - New Hampshire

You must do so in pairs.

9. It is illegal to wear a bulletproof vest while committing a murder. - New Jersey

Chiffon and satin are fine, however.

10. Unless a customer orders it specifically, it's against the law to serve margarine instead of butter at a restaurant. - Wisconsin

Only in Wisconsin. The penalty for this infraction is, of course, hangin'. 0 comments

As if I needed more proof:

50% (Yankee). Barely into the Yankee category.

From the Yankee or Dixie? quiz.

Could I be any more "middle of the road"? 0 comments

My evening disappeared!

I sat down to watch Seinfeld around 7:00 last night, and the next thing I knew, it was 11:00. I fell asleep, apparently. I didn't even get to watch Seinfeld.

I haven't checked the DVR to see if it got Smallville for me. I told it to, but I'm never sure if it's going to listen to me. Besides, there was a basketball game on beforehand, and that can mess up a TV schedule like nothing else. DVRs don't handle changes like that very well.

Here's the odd thing - somewhere along the line, Brandy called me to get me to play iSketch. I vaguely remember her calling, but I had no idea what I said. I asked her on IM this morning, and she laughed at me. She said I was out of it and that I would start sentences and not finish them. I feel I need to go on record at this time and say that I do not drink alcohol nor do I take medications of any kind. I rarely use cough syrup, even. The only thing I can think of is that I didn't take my multivitamin yesterday, so maybe that's it. Of course, my general lack of sleep may have had something to do with it, too.

This morning my computer screen had a few IM invitations to play iSketch from last night. Sorry, folks. I feel I've let you down.

I feel very rested this morning. That's bad, though, because it means I'll probably be up until all hours tonight.

Labels: Seinfeld

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It has been the subject of a little debate whether an entry should only be about one topic or whether it's okay to have a multi-topic entry. Single topics make research easier, of course, but multi-topic entries could conceivably be more interesting - if you don't care for the first topic, maybe the second or third one will be up your alley.

In the end, I don't think it matters much. As much as I like to imagine I'm honing my writing skills by writing regularly on here, it would be a mistake to take it seriously - so far, anyway.

Being an honest-to-goodness writer requires a certain amount of transparency, I think. Really opening up and spilling your thoughts onto a page is a dangerous act. No one likes rejection. Revealing your true self in written form is an invitation to criticism. Worse yet, there is the chance of no response at all, which, in many ways, is worse than a negative reaction. I've heard that the opposite side of love isn't hate, it's ambivalence. To hear someone say "your life and thoughts don't affect me at all" can be a sobering revelation. Someone stirred negatively enough to say something about it is at least noticing you.

I would also hazard a guess that writing specifically to draw out consoling comments or congratulatory expressions would start to feel empty rather quickly. The self-deprecating writer who says "It's not very good" or something similar is often really asking you to argue with them on that point. "Convince me that I am good, that I am worth something. I would like a three-point outline from you on why I don't completely stink."

At the same time, I don't believe there is anyone who "writes just to write." Maybe they do that for a while, but they won't keep doing it. If there's no audience, what's the point? Look at the blogs you read on a regular basis - most of them have some sort of hit counter, mine included. Why? Validation. We want to know that someone's reading. Even if it's only a handful of people - a handful can become a "core audience" with not to much mental manipulation. The secret hope is that someone will stumble on what you've written and like it enough to come back on a regular basis, and maybe even tell a friend. Someone who "writes just to write" is practicing for something. Either they'll stop writing all together or they'll start writing things they want other people to read. Chances are good that when they get to that second stage, they'll bring up some of their earlier stuff, "just to see..."

I won't lie to you, I want people to read what I write. Even more, I want people to like what I've written. Even more than that, I want them to want to read more. And I want them to tell their friends. I have a fear of success, of course (will fame change me?!?), but it's mostly founded in wild daydreams. I can't write under a deadline and I'm mostly unable to produce at will on a given topic. Stream of consciousness writing has a very small environment in which to thrive. An online blog is about as big a terrarium for it that you'll find.

I started this entry with the intent to bring up several small topics all together, but I think I'll save those for another entry. I don't want to muddy the topical waters. 0 comments

News from the world of Muppets.

I figured it was about time, what with the name of my blog, and all.

I may have more to say about that later, but for now I ... I just can't speak...

Put up for your consideration by: MadMup / 9:03 PM

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Over at BBspot.com they're running a little poll entitled "Most Dangerous to Society?" Here are the results so far:

UPDATE:

Atkin's Diet: 39.71%
Mega-Corporations: 20.67%
People Named Mark: 18.76%
Black Jelly Beans: 9.33%
Janet Jackson's Breast: 8.76%
Beer: 2.00%
Violent Video Games: 0.76%

I don't know what to say to this. Apparently I'm more dangerous to society than Janet Jackson's breast, black jelly beans, and beer combined. Only when you add violent video games to the list do I get surpassed.

I wonder if it matters that I like black jelly beans and violent video games...

UPDATE: Now I'm only more dangerous than black jelly beans and Janet Jackson's breast. Add anything else in there and it surpasses me.

Labels: poll

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Are you familiar with engrish.com? It's a site devoted to making fun of poor translations, in this case, Japanese to English. Apparently it is the fashion in Japan to have English phrases on things, just because it looks cool - regardless of the actual meaning. This should not be strange to you, as we do the same thing here in America with Japanese writing. I've heard horror stories of people getting Japanese symbols as tattoos, only to find out later that the actual tattooed word was something other than what they thought. It's a personal goal of mine to have some framed Japanese writing some day. At my last job there was a Japanese woman who told me she would help me out with that any time I wanted, so I just need to make some plans, I guess.

Anyway, back to this site. They have a "phrase of the day" and my friend Josh pointed me to the phrase for February 13. It cracked me up, so I share it with you now:

"Live, and go because it becomes happy."

Don't you wish that's how things really turned out? 0 comments

I know this is a day early, but I wanted to make sure you got it.

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I got a DVR from my cable company yesterday, and I'm a little disappointed.

DVR = digital video recorder = TiVo or ReplayTV and the like.

It's basically a VCR, but it records shows to its internal hard drive. It's a pretty cool device, as it has all sorts of connectors on the back: USB, FireWire, Ethernet, DVI. None of them currently work, but it's pretty cool. Eventually, they say, a person might be able to hook it up to one's network and yadda yadda yadda.

They also tell me it will eventually be able to do things a DVR ought to be able to do, like tune itself to the channel and record something. As it is, if you tell it to record from 6:23 to 10:22, it will record whatever channel you happen to be on. How stupid is that? There isn't even a function to tell it what channel to record! Now, I did find that if you go to the guide and highlight a coming-up show and tell it to record, it will kind of schedule it. By "kind of" I mean that one minute before it is to start, a message comes up on the screen that says "Do you want to switch to the channel and start recording?" This is a useful function for when you are away on long trips.

TiVo, from what I understand, will let you set it to record any instance of a show...say, Seinfeld. Whenever it sees an episode of Seinfeld on, it records it to the hard drive. Later, when you come back with your big bowl of cereal, you can sit down and pick which episode of Seinfeld you want to watch and fast-forward and rewind through it like it was a tape.

Guess what? My DVR won't do that, either.

It's a proprietary system, not a TiVo or ReplayTV, so they're working from the ground up on this thing and not everything has been implemented yet. Or so they say. It is supposedly a "dynamically updating system," which means software upgrades will be pushed down over the cable lines as they become available. I'll believe it when I see it.

To be fair, the new little box also incoporates an HDTV decoder, which gives me HDTV versions of channels that hardly ever have anything on them I want to watch. I will say this, though - that HDTV is sweet-looking. Very clear and sharp. And widescreen, which is important.

So, I've got a DVR. It ain't perfect, but neither am I. We'll see how the two of us get along.

Labels: Seinfeld

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Did you know that Hot Pockets, those tasty bundles of wonderful goodness, come in all sorts of fancy varieties? Aside from the low-fat variety ("low" being a very relative term, of course), you can also get Croissant Pockets (presumably not low in fat). In addition to the "standard" ham-and-cheese and the pizza fillings, you can get "mozzarella and meatball" and "chicken parmesan." It's almost too high-falutin' to enjoy. Almost.

Norah Jones' new CD came out today. It's entitled "Feels Like Home" and is unlike her previous album, as far as I can tell. I've had it on in the background today, but I can't really say I've listened to it. It's more bluegrass-y and country than her last album. In fact, Dolly Parton makes a guest appearance. I don't have a final report ready to go on the album yet, but Norah's voice is really good, so I'm sure it'll be fine.

The phrase "same as cash" intrigues me. "90 days same as cash!" "W-2 forms same as cash!" I can only assume they mean something other than "you can use items other than cash as cash." It sounds fishy to me. I mean, "time is money," and all, but 90 days are not the same as cash. And it's never "Rocks and sticks same as cash!" it's always something that costs me something. *sigh* There is no free lunch, my friends.

The original Star Wars trilogy is coming out on DVD this fall. And by "original" I mean "not really the actual original ones shown in theaters, more like the re-fiddled versions that George Lucas keeps doing things to." It's all good, though. They've been needing the DVD treatment for a while now. Of course, we'll have to wait and see if the "5 hours of extra Jar Jar footage" is true...

Further bulletins as events warrant.

Labels: apropos of nothing

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Last Friday, while working on a server at one of my schools, I ran across the strangest error message ever. I was on the phone with my boss as he was leading me through the steps to try to solve an IP problem when the following error message came up on the screen:

"Tossing beasts still are in use."

I don't know how much or how little you know about computers - frankly, it doesn't matter. I know a lot about computers but not very much about Novell, which is the operating system in question. My boss knows a lot about Novell. Neither of us had ever seen anything quite like that before.

Not only is it grammatically incorrect, it's just very...odd.

First, no computer system I'm aware of uses beasts of any sort. It's true that different versions of Linux use different animal mascots (penguin, lizard), but they don't affect the computer systems.

Second, the beasts in question here are of the tossing variety. I'm not sure if that means the beasts are doing the tossing or the beasts are being tossed. It isn't specified. What would the beasts be tossing? If they are monkeys, then I might have an idea... Who is tossing these beasts? Why? Is this some sort of Olympic event?

Third, these beasts are still in use. This implies that they've been in use for at least a little while and that they continue to be so. This frightens me on a level I can only just barely sense.

Fourth, if "tossing beasts" is some sort of variable (like "x" in the equation "x=2a+4c"), it is obviously some sort of multiple variable, as indicated by the use of the verb "are." More than one of these beasts is in use at the present time. If you're going to use an odd phrase as a variable, why not get specific? List the beasts that are being used. "A tossing zebra is still in use." "A tossing emu is still in use." "A tossing wombat is still in use." Don't leave us hanging - present the entire menagerie!

Fifth, carry it out. I feel it's important to stick to your metaphor. If we're going to be using beasts in our system, let's use them all the way. The whole realm of computers could be the Savannah, perhaps, with antivirus programs being the vultures that clean up the dead meat of infected files. The operating system could be a lion, king of the beasts. Files could be cheetahs, zebras, monkeys, giraffes, hyenas, wart hogs, or meerkats, depending on their variety. Having to restart your computer because it is hung up could be attributed to the "Circle of Life." Of course, this is folly. No designer of software wants to fall prey to the old adage "For tis the sport to have the enginer hoist on his own petard." If his software goes awry, it would be said to have "too many snakes in the grass" and it might be suggested that he be thrown to the lions or have some other animal-related punishment meted out. If "let the punishment fit the crime" is the rule of the day, it might be best if you stayed away from dangerous themes when determing your metaphor.

While we were waiting for the server to reboot, my boss did some research on Novell's site and found that the message dealt with a user not having enough rights in Unix to do something he was trying to do. I'm not going to get into why that's ridiculous, but suffice to say that we're not using Unix, and it still doesn't explain why "tossing beasts still are in use."

So be thankful the next time you get an "Internet Explorer has caused a page protection fault" message. That makes way more sense, doesn't it? 0 comments

For those of you who like Shakespeare and text adventures, I give you the following link.

I only got as far as "talk to Horatio." I'm sure you can do better. 0 comments

It's been a while since last I posted, hasn't it? It's a good thing you're not depending on me for your local news, isn't it?

I've been on kind of an emotional shutdown lately, so I hope you can bear with me.

I've got another previously-written thing or two that I may post in the near future - one on birds and one on traditions. We'll see. I feel cheap putting up things I wrote before.

I hope everything is going well for you, and we'll talk soon, okay? Okay. 0 comments

I wrote this a while back and thought I would share it with you. Please forgive its rough state.

Let's talk about superheroes. Everybody likes them and most guys want to be one. Jerry Seinfeld says most men view themselves as low-level superheroes, anyway.

First of all, let's take a look at Batman. Here's a guy who dresses up in an outfit and spends his nights beating people up, basically. He doesn't have special bat-powers, either. Look at your Superman - yeah, he fights the biggest and the baddest guys around, but why shouldn't he? What's he got to be afraid of? He's got invulnerability, X-ray vision, super speed, cold breath, he can fly, and he's got heat vision! He's like a superhero convenience store - he's got a little bit of everything. The Flash can run really fast - hey, Superman's got that! The Hulk can jump really far - Superman would probably just fly there, but he could jump if he wanted to! Wonder Woman can deflect bullets with her bracelets - Superman doesn't need bracelets, he can deflect bullets with his eyelids, if need be. So when people in the comics are talking about Superman being "courageous," I say, "Ha!" What's he going to be afraid of? Don't you have to be a little afraid of something and still face it to be called "courageous"? I'll tell you what he's got to be afraid of - little green rocks. Kryptonite. Here's a guy who can fly to different planets because he can hold his breath that long and fly that fast, but you hold up a piece of his home planet, and you can decorate him with tinsel and use him as a Christmas tree, if you want to. His home planet! Talk about not being able to go home again...

Who else we got? Spider-Man was always another one of my favorites, probably because he was a geeky kid who got some really cool powers - proportionate strength of a spider, spider sense, and the ability to stick to things. I gotta tell you, that last one's no big deal - you ever wear shorts and sit on a leather couch in the middle of summer? You've got super powers! Didn't know it, did you? But here's a teenager who's fighting guys like Rhinocerous and The Shocker and Dr. Octopus, all the while he's trying to get girls to go on dates with him. What a life! I'm here to tell you, guys, if you get bitten by an insect and gain some sort of superpower, don't bother with girls for a while, okay? You've got bigger fish to fry at that point, I'm thinking. Number one, you've got to learn how to sew. You think you're going to find a BugMan suit on the shelf at your local tailor? Ain't gonna happen. Second, you've got to come up with some killer alibis. "Why didn't you come home until 2 in the morning?" "Why are you always wearing long sleeves even in the middle of summer?" "Where'd you get that cut from your ankle to your forehead?" How are you going to answer those questions if you're wondering whether your girlfriend likes your hair that day? My advice to you - forget about the girls for a while and focus on the superhero thing. But here's Spider-Man fighting all these guys and swinging all over New York and making wisecracks the whole time. But I say again, why shouldn't he? He's got super-fast reflexes and spider-sense - something's about to hit him (bullets, even!) and he can not only dodge it, but can probably do something to mess up the guy who tried it in the first place. Somebody drops a wall on him - hey, he's as strong as a person-sized spider! No problem! Granted, Spider-Man's a little more nervous than Superman, he can, after all, be shot and beat up pretty bad.

That brings us to Batman. What super power does he have? Well...he's rich...and that's about it. If that were enough, we'd be hearing stories about how nobody knows where Bill Gates goes at night. "There's been another sighting of Greenbacks Man in Redmond, Washington..." No, here's the quintessential self-motivator. Bruce Wayne's parents get killed right in front of him so he spends the next 12 years or so of his life training so he can put on a batsuit and beat up criminals. Wow! I can't even finish taking the whole typing teacher CD-ROM! I got to the letter "T" and gave up. It messed up my typing like you wouldn't believe. But here's a goal-oriented fellow - "I need to learn every martial art there ever was, just in case one of these muggers knows the Praying Mantis style of kung fu." I think all of you who are students can take a lesson from Bruce Wayne. "I need to learn every President's middle name, just in case..."

So Batman's got no super powers, but he does have some really cool toys, doesn't he? Batarangs, the Batmobile, bat-grappling hooks, bat-knockout gas, and bat-everything else. Where's he getting this stuff? Is there an online store where you can buy all of that? If so, don't you think the people who work there might catch on, eventually? "Hey, honey, you see this thing on the news about the bank robber who was tied up with some sort of bat-rope in Gotham City? I mailed off a box of bat-rope to a guy there just last week! Say, wait a minute..." And if he's getting them specially-made for him, I don't care how rich he is, that'll bankrupt him in a hurry, and frustrate him besides. How many times have you special-ordered something from Burger King? And of those times, how many times was it right? I can hear the phone conversation now - "Hey, I ordered 2 dozen black batarangs with the stun-tips on them, and you sent me 6 yellow batarangs with some kind of floral scent on them! I needed these tonight! I'm fighting the Riddler, for crying out loud!"

And what about the Batcave? How'd he do that? Did you ever try to build even a tree house? You'd start off with all these plans - "It's gonna have 4 rooms, a bathroom, a fridge, two stories, and 6 different secret escape routes." What did you end up with? Two boards, a rope, and an unwillingness to ever set foot in the treehouse. But Batman's got this whole cave with computers, a garage, a training facility, and maybe even a bathroom. If he had contractors come in a do this for him, did he have to kill them when they were done? Then he wouldn't be a good guy anymore! Can you imagine Bruce Wayne working with a group of teamsters? "Now, Mr. Wayne, what we got here is a problem - we can do the secret entrance to the cave with some sort of camouflaged cover, but we're thinking that the rotating parking space is, well, cost-prohibitive, and, frankly, not covered in the original contract. Now, we *could* maybe put in some sort of sign warning you of the edge of the parking space, but we would have to put in some overtime to get that finished..."

So here's a guy with no super powers and a boatload of cash going out to fight evildoers every night. Talk about fear! What if they overpower him and take his wallet? If he's keeping his ATM PIN in there, that's the end of Wayne Enterprises! There's some motivation to defeat evil, huh?

In my opinion, Batman's the coolest crimefighter. Coolest outfit, coolest gadgets, coolest butler. Don't mess with him, okay? If you're not a bad guy he's going to defeat, you're probably an employee at Wayne Enterprises and he can fire you.

Labels: Seinfeld

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I did something last night that I haven't done in a looooong time. I went to bed at a decent hour.

I haven't been feeling well, lately, and I'm certain my lack of sleep is a contributing factor. After missing the last part of Seinfeld because I fell asleep on the couch, I decided (upon waking) that I should go to bed. The clock read 8:37 when I got into bed, and it's seven minutes fast.

Of course, my body - being unused to such things - decided to wake up every hour, just to see what the deal was. Even with that, though, I got more sleep than normal and I feel more rested today than I have in a long time.

I'm still not eating correctly, but let's try one thing at a time, okay?

And, just so you get all my personal details in one sitting, my hair is getting grayer and is falling out more. I'll be 32 in a few months, but this is ridiculous.

Labels: Seinfeld

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Pretty lame as far as holidays go, really.

But as far as movies go - great stuff.

Have you seen it? Bill Murray plays a cynical (typecasting!) reporter who gets to - make that has to - relive Groundhog Day over and over again until he gets it right. The main goal in the movie is for him to see the error of his ways, of course, and it's all centered around a woman, but what a great gift! We get to see him dabbling in things, once he's figured out he'll keep reliving the day - he steps in front of a bus, he gets in a fight with a guy, he does all sorts of stuff.

But he finally gets it right, with no one around him the wiser.

It's buried inside everyone, I think, this innate sense of "I could do it better if I had another shot at it." What would you tell yourself if you could go back in time to when you were in fourth grade? How would you convince your fourth grade self to listen to you? Would you rather relive your life with your current knowledge? What would you do differently?

Movies on the topic are never quite right because there's no way for them to handle the far-reaching consequences. One different decision in fourth grade could change everything else down the road, so all the other advice becomes worthless. Once you picture a branch that splits almost never-endingly, your mind boggles fairly quickly.

These thoughts obviously bring you to present day. What can you do differently right now that would at least approximate what you'd tell your fourth grade self to shoot for? Usually not much. But is there at least something? 0 comments

Here is one of the most useful tools in the whole world: the Google toolbar. I'm not one for adding toolbars to Internet Explorer, but I am completely taken with this one. Not only can you do Google searches from it, but it will block popups, let you Blog the page you're on, and even fill out forms for you, if you want. I wish I knew how long I've had mine installed, but so far it has blocked 1,811 popups. Whew!

Anyway, it comes stamped with the MadMup Seal of Approval (tm).*


*No one associated with madmup.com is in any way responsible for anything bad that happens should you decide to use the Google toolbar. While it is the neatest thing since sliced cheese, it will most likely cause warts and make you forget important birthdays. Please don't try to sue me, as I will be very grumpy. Thank you. 0 comments

Go to it, John Stossel. 0 comments

Lousy rotten rodent. 0 comments

Well, the Super Bowl is over and the Patriots won, dang them.

I didn't really watch that much of the game - I had it on in the background, and I watched the last quarter, but that's about it. I didn't have much interest in who won, but I was hoping the Panthers would win.

I don't know if other people are like this, but I can always pick a "favorite." I've been like that since I was a kid - give me a topic and I've got a favorite. Here's a sample list from my life, circa 6th grade:

Football team: Dallas Cowboys
Baseball team: Milwaukee Brewers
Basketball team: Dallas Mavericks
Golfer: Arnold Palmer
Semitruck: Kenworth

...and downhill it goes from there. My reasons? I couldn't tell you - the Mavericks were because I liked the Cowboys. Arnold Palmer? I have no idea. I didn't even watch golf and didn't know the slightest thing about golf. The Brewers were because I went to a few of their games and I was young enough to think baseball was neat. In high school I attended a Brewers game and fell asleep in the bleachers. Kenworth? Trucking was a big thing at that time in my life - there were a few men in the church who were truckers, so we all got interested in trucking. In fact, I went to summer camp one year, and when I got back, my mom and a friend of hers had wallpapered my bedroom with semitruck wallpaper! It was so cool!!!

Of course, when I was a freshman in college and still had it, it wasn't as cool.

Name any two teams that are about to compete and I can usually tell you who I am rooting for, and it usually has no basis in anything. Examples:

Hawkeyes versus anyone except maybe Purdue: I'll choose the Hawkeyes because I had a huge crush on a girl in high school who was from Iowa.

Green Bay Packers versus, oh, the Tennessee Titans: The Packers, because my mom and brother like them so much.

Chicago Bulls versus pretty much anyone: The Bulls because I got to see Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman play at the United Center once.

Minnesota Vikings versus New Orleans Saints: The Vikings because I watched them play an incredible game once. They lost, but they played so well, even in defeat. Of course, that was 10 years ago, but old loyalties die hard.

It's not just sports, either. Academy Awards, Grammies, Top 10 Lists - I have a favorite something almost everywhere. Give me a list of semi-related things and I'll put them in order for you.

Are other people like this? 0 comments