MadMup.com

I really do hate eBay, even though it's not really eBay's fault.

First of all, I have never liked auctions. I don't like the idea of bidding wars and prices scaling out of control. Just tell me how much the stupid thing is, let me buy it, and let me get on my way. I have no patience for buying things. When I buy something, I want it right now. This is why I pay more for some things - I know I can get it cheaper online, but I want it right away.

Second, I don't really trust people. This is based on some experience, some self-evaluation, and some out-and-out paranoia. This is why I lock my van door even when I'm only leaving it for two minutes and there's nothing in it that anyone would want to steal. Sometimes as I'm walking away from my unlocked van I think, "I can leave it unlocked, it'll be fine." But then I can't. Once I've thought of it, I'll have to lock it. That's just the way it goes. I expect the people on eBay that are selling things to leave me hanging, stripped of cash and dignity, with no merchandise to show for it.

These reasons are why it is strange that the first thing I ever bought on eBay was a van. Strangely enough, it all went well and I got a decent vehicle out of it. I'm tired of driving vans, but that's really not eBay's fault. That I know of, anyway.

You might remember when I played Dance Dance Revolution on vacation. If not, pretty much all you need now is that I played it and enjoyed it. I knew they had the game available for the Xbox, and my friend Brian wrote a review of a really good dance pad for it, so I decided to try to find a cheap one.

I found several on eBay and made a bid on one that was ending soon (again, I don't need the as-instant-as-possible gratification). When the auction ended, I had lost. But, lo! Shortly thereafter, I received an email from the seller. The high bidder backed out or something, and would I still like to purchase it?

Why, yes, I would.

Final price with shipping: $50. Not bad for a $100+ dance pad. I PayPal-ed her and waited.

I was surprised when I received the pad a week or so later. A stranger lived up to their end of the bargain! My faith in humanity was restored! ...for about ten minutes.

During assembly, I noticed some cuts on the inside of the pad. Then, I discovered the back/down arrow didn't work. Grrr.

I contacted the seller via email and explained the situation. She said she'd replace it if I sent it back and she found it to be defective, and she'd also cover my shipping costs for sending it back ($11.something). I wasn't able to send it right away, but I sent it back within two weeks. It was right in the middle of my move and it's difficult for me to get to the Post Office. I made sure to get a tracking number on the package, and I watched it online over the next couple of days to make sure it was delivered.

At this point, I get an email from her. It was a mass email to many people informing them that she was going on vacation and would be back on August 3. Fine. Whatever. I kept in contact with her for a little while, telling her that I'd sent the package and yadda yadda yadda. Once she sent out that email, any time I've emailed her since, I get an automated replay that says she's on vacation until August 3.

Long story short (or at least shorter than it could be), I haven't heard from her since the last week of July. I emailed at least once a week and always got the auto-response.

Yesterday I started the process of complaining to eBay and PayPal. See, they have these procedures because they know (just like I do) that there are deadbeats out there.

One problem. Remember how I'm a slacker? Remember how I'm lazy? Remember how I procrastinate? Turns out I waited too long. There's a time limit for complaints: 45 days. I am well-past 45 days. I am also out $61+.

The seller isn't even a seller any more. A look at her eBay userpage says "private" and you can't even read or leave feedback.

So frustrating. Yes, it's my fault for taking too long to look into the issue, but there shouldn't have even been an issue in the first place.

That'll teach me to trust people. 9 comments

You know how they have little sayings/quips/advice on the inside of the wrappers around the Dove Promises chocolate? I had one today that said "Flirting is mandatory."

No one needs that kind of trouble. 2 comments

EDIT: The song has finally been recorded. Download here.

Because of this, I give you the following.

To the tune of "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas:

I board my ride
I put my seat back upright and I stow my tray
On my feet
I feel a slithering and I turn to clay
Snakes on a plane
Everyone sees snakes on a plane

They are long
You think they are slimy but they’re really not
All they do
Is scare the flight attendants and stay uncaught
Snakes on a plane
All they are is snakes on a plane, ohh

Now, don’t freak out
They can sense your fear and then they’ll bite your face
Then slip away
To hide in the overhead compartment space
Snakes on a plane
Everywhere are snakes on a plane
You’re sure there are snakes on a plane?

Snakes on a plane
Everywhere are snakes on a plane
Who let all these snakes on a plane?
A plane

And there it is, my Snakes on a Plane song.

Labels: music

5 comments

I just got back from seeing Serenity.

Wow.

It's a movie based on a TV show named Firefly written by Joss Whedon (he also did Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel), about a crew aboard a spaceship that ... does things. There's an overarching plot about a mysterious girl, and - oh, forget it. Just go watch the series. There's only 12 or 13 episodes.

When you're done, go watch the movie. You can watch the movie without seeing the episodes, but you'll like it a whole lot more after seeing the episodes.

I don't often gush about things, but consider this movie gushed-upon. 4 comments

In the interest of full disclosure, I give you my bowling scores from last night, in order:

• 130
• 125
• 117
• 130

I do so wish I were a better bowler. 6 comments

I don't understand music, and I mean that on a couple of levels.

1) I have a hard time hearing lyrics. Until my friend Dave straightened me out, I thought the Beach Boys were singing "And Benny took and he ate a ball of my corn" in the song "Sloop John B." Turns out they were singing "And then he took and he ate up all of my corn." Even though I know better now, I still sing it my way when I have occasion to do so.

But what I'm particularly talking about is

2) I don't understand how music locks itself away in a particular spot in your brain and stays there waiting to come back out. I can hear a song I haven't heard in years and sing along with it, word for word. Even stranger to me is the fact that if pressed, I couldn't recite or sing the lyrics on my own without the song playing in the background. But play it for me and I'm instantly there. Memorizing speeches, facts, or Bible verses never came easily, but music puts it straight into my brain, apparently. This might have something to do with why I liked to set Emily Dickinson poems to the tune of the Gilligan's Island theme song.

Music also tends to bring to fore certain memories or feelings. Most of the time it isn't a specific memory, for me anyway. It's more a memory of a how I felt at the time, a non-specific subtle mental nudging.

I've bought two CDs in the last two weeks that reminded me of this. One was The Statler Brothers - The Definitive Collection and the other was Paul McCartney's Chaos And Creation In The Back Yard.

The McCartney CD took me immediately back a few years ago. I had just started a new job and his Driving Rain and Flaming Pie albums were the soundtrack to my summer. The songs on the new album are unfamiliar, of course, but the style and sound immediately bring back the mixture of fear and excitement from that summer. It's actually kind of difficult to listen to for those exact reasons.

The Statler Brothers CD, on the other hand, takes me back to when I was a kid. Specifically, Saturdays helping mom around the house. She'd generally have one of their albums playing while I was making cookies or washing dishes or something. It's funny, the Statlers are kind of "nostalgia country" music (they've got a lot of "do you remember when?" kinds of songs), and most of the stuff they were singing about was before my time, but I love the music. It fills me with feeling-memories of comfort, warmth, and safety. It's been a long time since I've felt those for real, so I'll take the memories where I can get them.

(You, by the way, know The Statler Brothers from Pulp Fiction. The song used in that movie was their biggest hit, "Flowers on the Wall," when Bruce Willis is driving his car right before hitting Ving Rhames. That's a pretty long way from safety and comfort, frankly.)

I get tired of whiny "artsy" songwriters that mean to reveal the secrets of self-examination with confusing, pseudo-deep lyrics. It must be a function of getting older, but I roll my eyes at their "I feel everything so deeply" lyrics and their meaningfully cracking voices. I try to imagine twenty years from now when people hear those songs again. What kind of feeling-memories will they evoke? Personally, I'm thinking it will be like my generations memories of shows like The A-Team and The Dukes of Hazzard: we remember them being TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!1!! but when we actually sit down to watch an episode, we can't believe how incredibly ridiculous and lame it is and how did we ever think this was cool?

Anyway, rants aside, I've listened to the Statlers CD more than the McCartney CD by an almost 2:1 ratio. It's no surprise to me that the familiar wins out. I just wish I knew what they were saying.

Labels: music

4 comments

I hesitate linking to this, as I feel it is not my best work. I wasn't feeling well, and it was difficult to get a grasp on how to handle a game that was neither fantastic nor disappointing.

Labels: game review

1 comments

It will come as no surprise to you, I'm sure, that when a store stops carrying something I'm used to buying, it causes me to panic a little bit. Whether it's a watch I've been buying for two years or an orange cake mix that I really have a hankering for, it drives me crazy to find out that either the store doesn't carry it anymore or the manufacturer has stopped making it.

I've been buying the same pair of shoes from Payless Shoe Source for years now, I don't even know how long. They're your basic brown casual shoe, and they're something to which I've grown quite accustomed. Unfortunately, like everything else, they tend to wear out, usually after a year, year-and-a-half or so. A few months ago, I went to Payless to buy a new pair, only to be told they've stopped making that particular style. Oh, sure, they'll still make the black version of the shoe, but the brown version just wasn't up to their demanding set of standards or something.

Grrr.

So, since then, I've kind of poked around at different stores, seeing what I could find. It wasn't critical, since once summer started, I could wear my sneakers to work (of course, soon thereafter my brand-new sneakers decided to start squeaking (thereby becoming far less sneaky), but that's a whole 'nother story), but I knew I'd need them soon.

I couldn't find anything. Either the ones I'd like would be too expensive or they wouldn't have my size or they just wouldn't have anything I liked. It was starting to get frustrating.

Then school started and it got worse. My old wearing-out pair of shoes are also one size too small. I can get by with them for a while, but after wearing them daily for a month or so, they start to cause problems with my feet and I get all sorts of pain in my index toes.

(Is that what you'd call your big toe? It's more thumb-like than index finger-like, but it's the first toe, so I don't know.)

Well, my feet have been hurting for a week or so now, and I knew it was past time to get shoes. I just couldn't find any, though. KMart (of all places) had a pair I liked more than any other pair I'd seen, but not in my size.

Growing up, my dad had always called my shoes "boats" or "skis" and I was beginning to think that I'd have to check a marina or a sporting goods store to find some size 13s.

Yesterday, for lunch, I went to the mall for some orange chicken from Panda Express (both the spiciest thing I eat and the only sorta-Chinese food I like). I had about ten spare minutes after eating, so I went to Kohl's just to see if their inventory had changed since the last 18 times I'd checked them. I guess my resistance was down or something, because I ended up buying a pair of Skechers - you know, those shoes with the oppressively "hip" ads that make you want to kick pop culture all over the schoolyard while taking its lunch money? Yeah, I bought a pair. I feel so dirty.

I would link you to a picture of my new shoes on the Skechers site, but, frankly, I have no idea what I bought. They've named their shoes things like "Komodo" and "Maxx" and "Critics - Carper," and I have no idea what's what. Suffice to say the soles are thicker than I'm used to, so not only am I taller than I was, I'm also having trouble walking and I'm driving faster than normal because I'm not used to the distance between my foot and the gas pedal - the angle my foot used to be at when driving yields more oomph than it did when I had thinner-soled shoes.

The shoes fit, though, so I guess that's something. I anticipate my toe problems going away in a week or so, and that's also good. I guess for that, I'm willing to put up with walking like Frankenstein's monster for a while.

Now if only I could find an orange cake mix, I'd be all set. 8 comments

Our improv shows consist of two teams, and MC, and a Voice. The teams compete by performing scenes. The MC announces games, explains games, and keeps things moving. The Voice announces scores, introduces players, and explains prizes. I'm normally on one of the teams.

On Friday, I was the MC.

I've been doing improv informally for the last 15 years. I've put together groups for one-shot performances and I've been in charge of semi-regular groups. In that time, I've run several shows, mostly because I was the one most familiar with the format and the games.

I've been a part of this group for a little over a year now. People pay actual money to come and see us, and it's all a bit different than what I've been used to all these years. For the time I've been with this group, we've had two main MCs. I have seen two other group members MC when the main two were out of town, but they weren't "official."

About a month ago, we had a workshop where all who were interested in being an MC could come and learn how to do it. Anyone who attended would then give it a try by MCing a show. I wasn't necessarily interested in MCing, but Matt & Kat said I was going, so I went.

Kat was the first new MC to do a show and she was fabulous. She kept the show moving, was funny, and did all the things an MC is supposed to do. She set the bar pretty high, and my nondesire to MC was only increased by her performance.

Regardless, my time came. I fretted about it all last week. Being sick wasn't helping anything, but I just couldn't wrap my head around all the stuff I was going to need to do for the show. Usually I just go to the show and do whatever I'm told: "Play 'Forward/Reverse'," "act like Celine Dion," "rap with words that rhyme with 'Ed'." Now, I'd need to elicit suggestions from the crowd, judge the teams' performances, and remember to do all the "MC stuff" in between.

Argh.

It went okay. I forgot to do a few things and I stumbled over a few other things, but the show went on and no one was killed or humiliated in the process, and, really, that's all you can ask for in any show. I'm not in any hurry to do it again, but if I'm asked, I guess I could manage. They'd be better off with Kat, though. She was better, and I'd rather be in scenes.

The biggest kick I got out of the evening: I sent out an email to some friends and coworkers to tell them about the show and that I was MCing. A friend of mine, who is a caseworker, came and brought her boyfriend and a co-worker. This co-worker, also a caseworker, was named "Casey." For some reason, the pairing of "Casey" and "Caseworker" struck me funny. "Casey the Caseworker." It still brings a smile to my face. 2 comments

NyQuil is great in that it helps me sleep when I'm sick.

NyQuil is not great in that I have Fuzzy Head the next morning.

This ought to be a fun day at work... 3 comments

I don't know if this post will count in my "one post of substance a day" goal, but it's all I got.

By the end of the week, I'm pretty much done. I've used up the last ounce of my patience and I'm worn out. I'm not pleasant to be around, I'm grumpy, and I probably smell bad.

As I type this, the cats aren't even near me. Of course, with them I can just withhold their food for a while to gain their friendship back.

I've been getting angry lately, too. It's never one thing, it's usually a build-up of things, but I dislike it nonetheless. I'm generally a fairly easygoing sort, so getting angry really...well, makes me angry.

So the short version is that I'm sorry. I got nothing. 5 comments

The other morning, I opened the door to leave for work and a small black cat rushed into my apartment. He wandered about quickly, but looked very confused, as if to say, "Where did all this stuff come from? I was only gone a little while!"

He was not my cat. Two is plenty for me, thank you. He was (and is) the neighbor's cat, one of two small black kitties they own. Our apartments/townhouses/whatever are all in a row, and the poor confused kitty must have thought my door was his home door.

I was able to gather him and eject him from the house before Nutmeg or Dala were fully aware of what was going on, but they still seemed flustered after the whole ordeal.

It almost happened again yesterday! He was bolting for the door, but I saw him in time and got it closed.

For years I've been edging out the door keeping an eye on the inside cats so they don't make a break for it. I've never before had one come in from outside.

I'm just glad I got him out before he started rambling about "blue roses" and inspecting my glass animal collection. 4 comments

Motivation is a strange concept to me.

You can't really get it from anyone - if someone says they are motivating you to do something, it's more likely that they are compelling you. Someone else can provide an enticement, but they can't force you to pursue it.

It isn't a thing in and of itself, it's more a means to an end. You might want something, but until you have the motivation to go after it, you won't go after it.

It's different things to different people. Some people are motivated by money, some by fame, and others by fear. I think I've finally figured out what motivates me.

See, this has always been a problem for me. In high school, I got decent grades without studying, so I didn't study, even though I could have gotten straight A's with a little bit of studying. Pretty much anything in my life that I've been okay at I could have been better with a little effort, but I was never motivated to do it.

I tried to be motivated. I tried to be motivated by teacher's compliments, friend approval, girls... None of it stuck. They say if it doesn't come from within you, it won't stick. It's true. I could never figure out what I was motivated by, though. "Just decide to be motivated, just decide to do it" never worked for me, even though I wish it had. I still wish it.

No, sadly, what I'm motivated by is comfort. If it makes me nervous or uneasy, I don't want to do it. I am highly motivated, however, to turtle, to not meet new people, to not go anywhere. I am highly motivated to do things that are familiar. I am highly motivated to do things I like.

It's sad, really. I don't like this about myself. You know another word for being motivated by comfort?

Selfish. 3 comments

Warning: non-gaming readers will have difficulty making it very far into this post.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I've started playing World of Warcraft. It's mostly Brian's fault, but I'll admit I've had my eye on playing a MMORPG (means "Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game," pronounced "More Pig").

If you're unfamiliar with how these things work, let me give you the briefest of rundowns. If you are familiar with how these things work, get a life and go outside every so often. Loser.

See, I can make that joke because I turtled* the whole weekend and played more WoW than a person ought to have. In my defense, I was also watching movies and episodes of ALF at the same time, so at least my time wasn't completely wasted.

Anyway, the rundown. You start the game by choosing your race (Night Elf, Human, Dwarf, Undead, Gnome, something like that) and your class (Hunter, Warrior, Priest, etc.) . I am a Night Elf Hunter named "Mupmadellan" (accent on the "dell" part), and I have a pet tiger and a pet raptor that fight alongside me (one at a time). The tiger's name is "RoarMonger" and the raptor is new enough that he hasn't been named yet. If he turns out to be loyal and nice, he'll get a name soon enough.

From there you seek out NPCs (Non Player Characters, or, characters in the game that aren't controlled by other human players) that have exclamation points floating over their heads. The exclamation points indicate that the NPC has a quest for you, usually in the form of "These creatures in this one area are giving me grief. Go kill a certain number of them and bring me back some sort of proof."

Anything you kill in the game gives you some amount of experience points, or XP. Every quest you finish also awards you XP. Earning certain amounts of XP causes you to "level up," which basically means your character gets stronger, smarter, faster, and more beautiful. Well, maybe not more beautiful, but all the rest. The higher the level, the more XP you need to advance to the next level. The higher your level, the bigger beasts and bad guys you can take on. I'm currently at Level 27.

That's pretty much it.

I should mention, though, that their are several other things you can learn and level up in. You can choose two professions from a big list: skinning, mining, leatherworking, alchemy, tailoring, and, uh, frosting. The more you do them, the better you get and the better things you can produce. There are also three things that everyone can do in addition: first aid, fishing, and cooking. I can fish okay, I can't cook hardly at all, and I am a master first aid person. I can whip up Silk Bandages with the best of them.

So there's your rundown on MMORPGs. Even though I've only described this particular one, pretty much any MMORPG follows the same patterns to a lesser or greater degree.

While many people play these games because they want to reach the highest level possible (that'd be Level 60 in WoW), a big draw for these types of games is the "MM" part - at the same time you're playing, literally thousands of other real life people are playing the same game. You see them walking around, their names floating above their heads. They also display what guild they belong to and you can tell if they're an enemy or a friend by what's displayed. You can team up with other people to accomplish a quest that you can't beat on your own. You can team up with people you don't know or wait until your friends are online and team up with them. Some people are really nice about letting you team up with them, and other people are jerks.

For the most part, I don't like to team up with people. I like to go solo, or as solo as a person can be with a tiger or a raptor by his side. I like taking on beasts that are my level or a little below and beating them (and then skinning them so I can make armor out of their hides - it's not as gross as it sounds, really) and finding what kinds of treasures they drop. I don't know exactly how a giant spider is carrying around a large, undamaged Claymore sword, but they sometimes are.

Oh, I have teamed up on a few occasions. Brian had a friend of his take me around the whole map gathering weapons training and learning gryphon flight paths (so I could fly there later) when I first started, and I've also teamed up with a stranger or two along the way. There've been times when I just couldn't do the quest alone, and I sought help. Afterwards, I tend to go on walkabout for a while, just taking in the scenery (and killing a few beasts) and being on my own. I just like being alone, even in a virtual world.

See, there's a lack of trust going on. The other day, I'm on a walkabout and I'm standing at a crossroads, looking up the road at a big group enemies that I was far to under-leveled to even be looking at, when a Level 55 dwarf comes up and says, "Hey, you want to go kill those guys?" I tell him I can't and he says, "No, no - I can get them on my own. You can just come along for the ride." Sure, why not? It'll get me some XP, and that's cool. So we went after them. It was fun...for about 15 minutes. That was when he said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I've got to go" and he left. Gone. Leaving me by myself, which normally I wouldn't mind - but normally I'm not surrounded by a bunch of angry trolls. I was killed shortly thereafter. When you're killed, your ghost reappears at a distant place and you travel as a ghost back to your body where you're reunited and respawned, but with only half your life bar...right smack dab in the middle of wherever you were, angry trolls and all.

Grrr. I was eventually able to get out by running as fast as I could once respawned until I was killed again. After about three deaths, I was far enough away to respawn without getting killed.

That's the danger with teaming up with strangers: you don't know how much you can count on them. When it's just you, yeah, you can't take everything on, but you know you can't and you know your weaknesses. You see a level 30 Elder Bear coming at you and you know you need to skedaddle. With a stranger there, you might be able to beat it, but he also might bail in the middle of things, whether by choice or by accident of equipment. Chancy. Safer, I think, to try things on your own. Safer to wait for a trusted friend to come online. Safer to stick to the familiar. Safer to stick to the paths so you're not surprised by an unseen foe.

Funny, isn't it, how a person's real-life strategies carry over into virtual worlds?


*tur·tled (ter'tld) - v. - To remain in one's house, leaving only occasionally in search of food. 1 comments

Let's try a little something this week. And by " 's " I mean "me."

I am going to try to write post of substance every day this week, starting tomorrow. That means that by midnight of each day, from Tuesday to Friday, I'll have a post up.

This may not be a big deal to you, but for me it's a reachable mini-goal in a time when reaching any goal could be important to me.

So let's see how it goes. And by " 's " I mean " all of us."

Labels: meta

3 comments