MadMup.com

It's actually my cousin's fault that I haven't been blogging. She had the unmitigated gall to tag me for a meme, and since I've had a hard time coming up with answers, I've just avoided blogging. The time has come, I feel. I need to confront this issue head-on and use it as a character-building exercise.

So here are the rules for this one:

1. Post these rules before you give your facts
2. List 8 random facts about yourself
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) 8 people and list their names, linking to them
4. Leave a comment on their blog, letting them know they’ve been tagged.

(You can see why this was hard for me - my whole blog is pretty much "random facts about me," so coming up with only 8 of them (and 8 of them that I haven't already said!) was difficult.)

1. I got banned from riding the bus to school for a day for throwing a banana peel out the bus window. My argument: "It's biodegradable!" To add insult to injury, the bus driver at the time was staying at our house, and I don't think he was paying any rent.
2. I cut my tongue very deeply with my teeth when I jumped off a table in my bedroom (more of a huge workbench than a table) and hit my chin on my knee. My parents were gone, so my brother called mom's friend Mrs. M, who was a nurse. She said to keep putting ice on it, which ended up not being so much fun.
3. I shot a friend of mine with a BB gun at close range. There was a quarry about a half a mile from our house, and I'd take my friends back there and we'd shoot at the junk that had been dumped in it. My BB gun was one my dad had and it had a pump action on it. The problem was, it was touchy. More often than not when the pump was returned to its original position, the gun fired. My friend Don and I were standing on a bit of hill looking at what piece of junk we were going to shoot next, when I pumped the gun... and it went off, hitting Don in the shoulder. It could have been a lot worse - the gun was spring-loaded. If it had been an airgun, it could have gone through his skin. I begged him not to tell my parents or his so we wouldn't be forbidden to shoot in the quarry anymore.
4. One Independence Day I lit a whole box of sparklers... while they were still in the box. I thought if one looked cool, 10-20 of them at a time would look even cooler. What actually happened was that the box burned instantly all the way to my hand and I got some blisters out of the deal. Any scientists in the crowd want to explain why that happened (the instant flash-burn, not the blisters)?
5. I think it was seventh grade when I took part in a spelling bee. I've always been a pretty decent spellist, so I was looking forward to this, my chance to shine. The people in front of me were given words that I knew easily, so I was looking forward to cleaning house. My turn came and I was given some form of the word "believe" - believed, believing, something. I knew the tricky part was the "ie," and I was so focused on getting that part, that I put the wrong ending on the word the "ed" instead of the "ing," or vice versa. It was a perfect Proverbs 16:18 moment.
6. One time for Children's Church (a separate service held in the basement of the church so that the adults upstairs didn't have to put up with us during their service) I played a song for special music... on a kazoo. To this day I remember the leaders exchanging glances during it that I came to realize later were of the "Oh my word, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen and heard" type. I'm not sure why they let me do it.
7. I've done stand-up comedy on two separate occasions. Both times were a mix of (ahem) "footnoted material" and my own stuff. The first time was in front of about 100 people and was fairly well-received. The second was in front of about 800 people and it was not. At all. And it actually got someone other than me in a bit of trouble. Sorry, Trev!
8. In two of the first three plays I was ever in, I was cast as a mentally handicapped individual. Make of that what you will.

I'm sure there are other things that would have been far more interesting, but my memory's bad.

So I'm tagging

• Brian A. - just to make him have to come up with 8 new things, as I'm sure he's done this before
• Carolyn - because an Aussie list is bound to have interesting things on it
• Dave - because it might get him to blog more than once a year
• Gretchen – because hers will be majorly thought-provoking, I have no doubt
• Jeannie - because she's the most likely to do it
• Josh N. – as the flipside to Gret’s, and also a way for him to take a break from seminary stuff for a bit
• Lee - because I'm sure he's got some great stuff
• Melissa - because it seems like there are some stories there I'd like to hear

Labels: meme, school memories

9 comments

I don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognize. I just don't. I'm not alone in this, so don't look at me like I'm some kind of freak. Voicemail was created for exactly this sort of situation: you leave a message letting a person know who you are. That's just how it works. Like George Costanza said, "You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way!" Part of living in society is leaving voicemails.

That's really not my main point, but it needed to be said.

Anyway, there is one exception I make. I have a friend who lives in a different state. He has an aversion to being named here, so I won't tell you anything more about him except that he lives in the 419 area code, likes snakes, and one time played three recorders in front of a live audience (one in his mouth and one in each nostril).

I occasionally receive calls from him him from work. Since his workplace has several different phone lines, I don't have them all in my cell phone under his name. Therefore, I don't recognize the numbers. I do, however, recognize the 419 area code, so I'll generally still pick up. It's one of the perks of being a friend of mine for 20+ years (no, I'm still not telling you his name).

So the other night when my phone rings and it's a 419 area code, I don't hesitate to pick it up. I immediately say, "You're lucky I recognize your area code or else I'd never answer the phone when you call." This was somewhat confusing to the lady on the other end of the line, who was actually calling to get my opinions on the local political landscape (which I also felt was weird - why is someone from a completely different state calling to ask me about my local city government? And where did she get my number?).

It took a minute or two to straighten out the confusion, and by that time I felt she had earned my time, so I went ahead and answered her questions.

So now I'm faced with the fact that I have a very specific Kryptonite, and if my defenses are that easily overcome, what's next? Will I start answering calls from any area code with those three numbers - 491, 941, 914? It's a slippery slope and I'm more than a bit concerned.

Labels: phone, quirks, Seinfeld

9 comments

I'll be the first to tell you that I don't understand what makes a person want a particular food at a particular time. It stands to reason that if you're thirsty, your body's telling you it needs water, and it also figures that if you want chocolate-covered pickles, your body's telling you you're pregnant. Aside from that, I don't understand it at all.

What I do understand is that there are certain foods I want frequently. I don't want all of them all the time, nor do I want the same thing several days in a row. In fact, I've ruined many a good thing to eat by having it too frequently, a lesson I hope I've learned and won't have to repeat.

Here's a list of my current favorite things to eat. Keep in mind that if I go to the restaurant I've mentioned, I will get what I have listed next to it 99% of the time.

• B-Dub's - Boneless wings with Honey BBQ (probably the spiciest thing I eat) and buffalo chips with ranch dressing
• Cracker Barrel - Chicken & Dumplings with mashed potatoes
• Culver's - Burger & fries
• Julie's Ranchhouse - Coconut cream pie, ham & beans (this is a local place, so you'll have to come here to try it out)
• McDonald's - Filet O' Fish, Arctic Orange milkshake (I don't allow myself to get the FoF very often, and the orange milkshake is a special that they very rarely have available)
• Monical's Pizza- Thin-crust cheese pizza (with French-like dressing for dipping, oddly enough)
• O'Charley's - Loaded Baked Potato Soup (with rolls, of course! Also: for reference)
• Olive Garden - Fettucine Alfredo (only I get the farfalle pasta instead, as it holds the sauce better and is easier to eat)
• Panda Express - Orange Chicken (also spicier than I would normally like)
• Roly Poly - #39: Turkey Applejack, minus the onion, mushrooms, and basil mayo
• Texas Roadhouse - Sirloin steak (6 or 8 oz., depending on the day)

Yes, I realize that you can read that list and instantly recognize why I'm in the shape I'm in. I've made it somewhat better by leaving off all the snack-like things I crave. If I'd put those on here, too, you might have had a heart attack just from reading the list. I've also left off any homemade items, as it's just not fair to you to talk about the cinnamon rolls Melissa makes if you're not going to have the opportunity to try them.

Labels: food

9 comments

It's a short one, but I do mention both President Ronald Reagan and the movie WarGames, so I guess that's something.

Labels: game review

0 comments

My mom wrote me the other day and told me that my nephew, who started kindergarden this year at the same school his father and I both attended, got in trouble for talking in class without raising his hand.

Sounds kind of familiar...

Labels: family

4 comments

I tend to think in streaks - I haven't thrown up for 21 years, I haven't been a soda drinker for five and a half years, and up til today, I hadn't been to the dentist for 1,674 days. While some streaks will garner a person all sorts of applause and praise, that last one won't impress anyone.

It was suggested (read: strongly suggested) to me that going to the dentist might be a good idea - there was something about the health of my teeth or them being the only teeth I had or some such. It made sense to me at the time, so I made an appointment a while back, and today was the day.

Really, the whole experience wore me out. I had to be there at 7 this morning, which wasn't so bad, but the teeth-scraping, the brutal flossing, the polishing -- it all was a bit much. About the time I realized my jaw was sore from holding it open for the dentist, I also realized that my right bicep was sore from me clenching my fist against all of the violence.

I know much has been said about dentists over the years, so I won't rehash it all here, other than to quote Steve Martin's song from The Little Shop of Horrors. He's singing about the words of advice his mother gave him when he was younger:

You'll be a dentist.
You have a talent for causing great pain.
Son, be a dentist.
People will pay you to be inhumane.

My teeth have hurt the rest of the day, but they feel clean! You know how you hate to drive your car around after it gets washed lest you soil it? It was the same way for me - I didn't want to dirty up my teeth with anything.

Not much has changed since I last went to the dentist - except that the x-rays are digital now. Other than that, all the scraping and polishing and spitting and trying to swallow with two hands in my mouth, it's all the same. Oh, except for the fact that the dentist offered to file my teeth down today. That was new. Yeah. Apparently my front teeth had gotten kinda raggedy. I'll be honest, I had noticed it. The dentist says he can put a high-speed drill to 'em and smooth 'em out. After some initial apprehension on my part, I told him to go for it. So now my teeth are smooth. I wasn't expecting that when I went in today, so I guess that's something.

I've been assured that if I go to the dentist more frequently it won't be as difficult. We'll see. As long as they keep handing out Batman stickers, I guess it'll be okay.

Labels: dentist

8 comments